Change is an inevitable part of life; it is the only thing guaranteed throughout our life’s path, yet it often brings with it a whirlwind of emotions that can be difficult to process, let alone navigate. Whether it’s the grief of losing a loved one, the challenges of adjusting to a new environment, ending a relationship, or becoming an empty nester, these transitions can profoundly impact our mental and emotional well-being. As a strong believer in the healing power of horses and now as an equine-assisted therapist, I’ve had the privilege of not only witnessing the incredible journeys of others but also experiencing my own personal journey of grief and loss with my horses.
I love Susan David's approach to building our capacity for emotional agility, especially her concept of the 'Emotional Pyramid of Needs.' When change visits us unexpectedly, gentle acceptance and self-compassion become crucial elements in processing it. It's essential to meet yourself where you are.
In this blog, I will explore the diverse nature of change that happens when experiencing grief, share strategies for coping, and highlight the unique ways in which equine-assisted therapy can support us through life’s most challenging transitions.
Understanding the Stages of Change
To better understand how we navigate change, we can turn to the ‘Stages of Change Model’, also known as the Transtheoretical Model. This framework helps us see that change is not a single event but a process with distinct phases. Here’s how these stages relate to the experience of grief and adjustment:
1.Precontemplation: At this stage, we may not fully recognise the need for change or may be in denial about the impact of the loss or transition. For example, someone might initially avoid acknowledging the pain of losing a loved one or the reality of becoming an empty nester.
2.Contemplation: Here, we start to recognise the need for change and begin to reflect on our emotions. This is the stage where we start to accept that grief is a natural response to loss and consider how we might cope with the changes in our lives.
3.Preparation: This phase involves getting ready for action. We might begin to seek support or develop coping strategies. For instance, we might explore therapy options, like equine-assisted therapy, or start to engage in new activities to fill the void left by the change.
4. Action: During this stage, we actively work on implementing the changes needed to adjust to our new reality. This could involve seeking counselling, adopting new routines, or finding ways to honour the memory of what we have lost.
5.Maintenance: Here, we work to sustain the changes we have made and integrate them into our daily lives. For example, maintaining the support systems we have established or continuing practices that help us adapt to the new phase of life.
6.Termination: While not always applicable, this stage represents the point where the change has been fully embraced and the old patterns no longer affect us. We have moved through the grief and adjustment and now find a new sense of normalcy.
Grief: A Process of Change
Grief shadows over us in many ways; it doesn’t always mean the loss of a pet or loved one. We can grieve the loss of a deep attachment that once fulfilled a need, provided comfort, and created a space where we felt safety, security, and a predictable routine. It met our emotional and spiritual needs. Grief is the realisation that it is no longer there, and with that realisation comes a change we cannot escape. It is the profound desperation felt when a mother has to say goodbye before ever getting a chance to say hello. Grief can also accompany changes that, while ultimately positive, still bring emotional turmoil as we adapt to new realities. Whether it’s the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, or moving away from a cherished home, grief is an unavoidable part of change. It reminds us that we are human, that we care deeply, and that every ending carries the seed of a new beginning. Through grief, we find the strength to move forward, to embrace the unknown, and to honour what once was, even as we step into what will be.
My journey with horses began through my daughter’s passion for riding, which led me to form a deep bond with her horse, Willow. Despite Willow’s significant health challenges, I committed to her care, discovering a profound connection between humans and horses. This bond helped me navigate my own grief and loss, nurturing me in ways I hadn’t anticipated. Willow’s gentle presence and the deep trust we built guided me through my journey of grief and loss, helping me adapt to profound changes in my life and, later on, prepare for the eventual loss of our beautiful Willow.
Applying the Stages of Change to Equine-Assisted Therapy
Equine-assisted therapy offers a unique environment where individuals can work through these stages of change in a supportive and reflective space. Horses provide a mirror to our emotions, offer a non-judgmental and accepting presence, helping us move from pre-contemplation to action by gently challenging our perceptions and encouraging us to explore our feelings. The therapy process can assist us in preparing for change, offering a space for maintenance of new coping strategies, and supporting us through the various phases of grief and adjustment.
Coping Strategies for Navigating Change
Navigating through change requires effective coping strategies. Here are some practical approaches that can help manage grief and adjust to new circumstances:
1. Acknowledge Your Emotions: It’s important to recognise and accept your feelings. Whether you’re experiencing sadness, anger, or confusion, allowing yourself to feel these emotions is the first step in coping with change.
2. Seek Support: Connecting with friends, family, or a professional can provide the support you need. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with others can offer comfort and perspective.
3. Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that promote your well-being. This could include exercise, healthy eating, adequate sleep, or pursuing hobbies that bring you joy.
4. Establish New Routines: Creating new routines can help you adapt to changes. Establishing a daily schedule or setting new goals can provide structure and a sense of normalcy.
5. Engage in Mindfulness Practices: Techniques like meditation, deep breathing exercises, or journaling can help you stay present and manage stress.
6. Explore Therapy Options: Consider seeking professional help through therapy or counselling. Equine-assisted therapy, for instance, offers a unique way to work through emotional challenges with the support of horses.
7. Set Realistic Goals: Break down your adjustments into manageable steps. Setting small, achievable goals can make the process of change feel less overwhelming.
By understanding these stages and applying them to our experiences, we can better navigate the complexities of change and find pathways to healing and growth.
Embracing the psychology of change helps us understand our emotional responses and equips us with strategies for managing life’s transitions. Equine-assisted therapy serves as a powerful tool in this process, offering both comfort and insight as we move through our personal journeys of grief and adaptation. As we explore these concepts, I hope to provide not just understanding but also practical ways to find support and resilience through the inevitable changes in life.
-Parihan Wyatt
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