I recently listened to a podcast featuring a small group of people who are well-known for their unique and admirable ways of communicating and interacting with horses. These individuals deeply resonate with me, as their approach aligns with my belief in true, natural horsemanship—a relationship based on authenticity, mutual respect, and understanding. For me, this connection creates a sense of peace, grounding, and balance. It’s about giving without expectation, receiving without demand, and fostering a bond built on curiosity, compassion, empathy, and understanding over judgement.
In the podcast, the group engaged in a reflective conversation, sharing their challenges, triumphs, and lessons from the past year. They spoke of gratitude and the moments that shaped their lives, and much of what they shared struck a chord with me. It reminded me of the vital role horses play in my own life. My horses are my anchors. They ground me when I feel unsteady and remind me of my strength when I feel weak. When I’m with them, my doubts and worries melt away. They teach me what it means to be fully present and alive.
I feel an immense sense of gratitude towards my horses. Each one has their own unique story—a history that has shaped their personality and characteristics. I consider it an honour to nurture and understand each one as an individual. This relationship is not about training or control; it’s about trust, patience, and respect.
But one question from the podcast lingered in my mind and stirred something deeper within me. Though I’m not quoting it word for word, it was something along the lines of:
“Do you give yourself the same understanding, compassion, empathy, and forgiveness that you so freely offer to your horse?”
This question made me pause. It’s easy to create a safe, non-judgemental space for my horses, my clients, and the people I care about. But do I offer myself that same grace? The answer, more often than not, is no. It reminded me of a moment months ago when I had a similar realisation: while I am quick to nurture others, I often neglect myself.
This got me thinking beyond just my relationship with horses. You don’t need to have horses to connect with this idea. Maybe it’s your dog, your cat, or even the people in your life who ground and support you. Think about how much care, compassion, and understanding you pour into them. Now ask yourself: Do you give that same love and attention to yourself?
For many of us, the answer is no. We live in a culture that often values productivity over well-being, and self-compassion can feel like an afterthought. But our well-being should be our number one priority. When we’re out of alignment—physically, emotionally, or spiritually—it affects everything and everyone around us.
Horses have taught me a powerful lesson about presence and resilience. They live entirely in the moment. When faced with a challenge or discomfort, they address it, process it, and return to balance. They don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They don’t punish themselves for mistakes or carry guilt. Instead, they focus on what’s in front of them, allowing life to flow naturally.
Compare that to us, as humans. As the book The Four Agreements explains, we are the only species that continues to punish ourselves for mistakes long after the moment has passed. We replay our failures in our minds, over and over, often letting those thoughts shape our self-worth. Worse still, the people closest to us may remind us of those mistakes, compounding the shame and guilt.
But what if we chose to live differently? What if we approached ourselves with the same forgiveness, patience, and compassion we extend to others? What if we made a conscious effort to honour who we are, flaws and all?
I invite you to reflect on this. Begin by noticing yourself. Acknowledge the parts of you that you’ve embraced and celebrate the parts you’re still getting to know. Show gratitude for your journey and all that you’ve endured to become who you are today. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made, and understand that they do not define you.
Whether it’s through the bond with an animal, the love you show a close friend, or simply the care you give to a stranger, use those moments as a mirror. If you can extend love and empathy outward, you have the power to do the same for yourself.
Make yourself a priority. Nurture your well-being as you would a cherished companion. Honour your needs, your feelings, and your boundaries. Start small: take a few minutes each day to check in with yourself, to breathe, to be still. Over time, these small acts of self-compassion can transform the way you see yourself and the world.
Horses, and indeed all animals, can teach us so much about living in harmony with ourselves. They remind us that balance, presence, and forgiveness are always within reach. Let’s take that wisdom and apply it—not just to our relationships with others but to the most important relationship of all: the one we have with ourselves.
-Parihan Wyatt
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